Well, we are out of wind. I mean, even though we are smack dab in the middle of the so-called “tradewinds” there isn’t enough breeze to blow a fart from the bow to the stern. So, we are motoring and burning fuel that we really can’t afford to be using this early in the game. The other option is to just drift. As there is a bit of a swell running drifting is ridiculously uncomfortable. Everything down below would be shifting port-to-starboard-to-port-to-starboard ad nauseum (sic?). Place your rubber ducky in one end of the bathtub then start splashing in the other. This will give you an idea of drifting at sea in a sailboat – not pleasant.

There are a couple of things working in our favor. First, it’s a beautiful sunny day (unlike last night when we got whacked by a squall at 4am). Second, we put a bottle of white wine in the fridge yesterday to have with dinner tonight. Fiona decided to have it with lunch today, but……..she had one sip and didn’t like it so guess who drank the whole goddam thing at lunch? If you guessed Matt then you are right.

That brings up one more important issue regarding authorship of these blogs. My own sister claims she cannot determine which blogs were written by me and which by Fiona. Are you f@#king kidding? Can you distinguish Austen from Hemingway? Brontë from Dickens? Chelsy Handler from Charles Bukowski? Do you think that Harper Lee was one of the Marx Brothers? Either you are reading these blogs just to pass the time on the toilet like some Better Homes and Gardens puff piece or you are unaware of the subtleties and nuance that reveal the distinction of great wordsmiths.

I will now have a nap and look forward to wine hangover.